And this is my chance, I get eaten by the worms
Total Emo phase relapse. I’m lovin it !
I also put up the lyrics for full throttle.
Mild amusement at the number of thoughts in my head listed as points below.
- I cannot get over how young Aamir Khan looks in the promos of 3 Idiots.
- Did you HEAR the music of Paa? Ilaiyaraja is a GOD. Watch out for Gali Mudhi (Shaan’s version)
- Ugly is the best cute. Nondescript is the new ugly.
- My driver told me all about Global warming and the melting of the ice caps today as we drove back home from Deepika’s house. Also about how the sea levels are rising and by2016 (if there’s no Rapture and those of us not Beamed up survive the 12/12/12 apocalypse) a large part of Chennai might get submerged. He also told me about battery run cars, saving fossil fuels and polluting the environment. I felt very at home, at that moment.
- I want to read ‘Going Rogue’ . At least it’s making Tina Fey do Palin again.
Oh and here are the lyrics:
In the deepest ocean
The bottom of the sea
Your eyes
They turn me
Why should I stay here?
Why should I stay?
I’d be crazy not to follow
Follow where you lead
Your eyes
They turn me
Turn me on to phantoms
I follow to the edge of the earth
And fall off
Everybody leaves
If they get the chance
And this is my chance
I get eaten by the worms
And weird fishes
Picked over by the worms
And weird fishes
Weird fishes
Weird fishes
Yeah I
I’ll hit the bottom
Hit the bottom and escape
Escape
And I
I’ll hit the bottom
Hit the bottom
Hit the bottom and escape
Escape
Weird Fishes, Radiohead
Until next time.Keep singing.
Once you get your gait, you’ll be walkin’ tall
Hope, they say is the mind’s euphemism for denial.
For about a week now, I have been thinking about how planning for the future has completely consumed my present. The perfect career the perfect relationship the perfect future .These thoughts were reiterated by Nish, in fact these are her very own words.
I also came up with these other lines, about how panic is different from despair, because panic is always glazed by hope. Despair is usually a manifestation of a rough day and a bad mood, coupled with low energy. The indescribable apathy and deep, yet content sorrow. Such an easy place to slip into.
After all the times we hear about obstacles being stepping stones to success, the persistent doubt of not winning is well settled inside our hearts.
Today, I learned for the first time, in over a decade of conscious thought, that at times like these if you just let yourself sink so low as to feel the horror hit you, not just ensconce yourself in the discomfort it causes but actually completely believe in the despair, that part of your body that is your warrior class ( I fully believe that this is a neurotransmitter which originates as an Immunological protein) kicks in, pushes away a little bit of the cloud and makes you stop idealising.
Idealising.
You’d be as good as dead, Cuz you might die tryin’
Cuz you might die tryin’
-Dave Matthews’ Band
I’m no Superman
In a spell of nostalgia brought about by finally watching the series finale of Scrubs, which I wanted to wait and do for the need of the essential and proper closure, i re read a note a wrote a while ago in Facebook, and it brought back memories of things, that I am sad now will only remain memories.
Even if I agree with JD that living in the past is warm and comforting,but change is essential; self indulgence of emotion is my huge vice and I have to do it. So anyway the purpose of this post was to save that note in this space too, so I paste it here. When I wrote it I was only ‘controlling the crazy’ but now I merely miss the crazy, living in a life that is as different from that one as possible.
Perhaps it’s cuz I have been so jobless, or perhaps it’s cuz how many ever times you repeat the same figure for the number of days left for college to end you know it decreases each day, I wanted to make out a note and tag the people who’ve made college what it’s been to me.
Whenever I think of the things that were My SRM, I cant but help think of these. I hope I don’t forget anything.
1. My friends.The people who gave me home. Away from and at. My beauties who taught me things about myself and themselves and the world.
2. My drama. I thought I was growing as a person and reducing the amount of drama in my life and in my system but then as I obsess over what to write in this point..hell just the mere fact that I think that I simply have to write this note.. You get it right. It’s called personal growth.
3. My Music.I always thought life was full of scenes for soundtracks, but the time I’ve spent obsessing over the random-est songs I’ve heard and how they are just ‘My song!!’. I don’t want to forget anything when I make a list..starting from when we’d only continuously hum Coming back to life to the phase when Somewhere I belong was like my ring tone (that happened)..when we obsessed over Summer Wine the first summer in 2006.. When Nish n I would spend evenings with only the yellow lights on with Floyd..when Harini found Coldplay and listened to only Shiver for a week.. When This love had taken it’s toll on me she said good bye too many times before.. When we told each other how ‘Breathless’ was our ultimate love song (I cannot lie, from you i cannot hide).. when ‘Stay don’t sway, don’t come and go, like you do’ was the only song all us girls thought was soooo cute.. when ‘Where were you when we were getting high’ we’d hear over n over.. when we’d watch movies just cuz we loved the soundtrack (Everybody’s gotta learn sometime).. ‘I’m too lost in you’..when Dan’s car would resound with the latest flava of our liking, reflecting not only our moods but also what we were watching then, where we were going, what we were downloading, oh and when Abha went crazy about RHCP..(Hey oh..listen what I say..oh).. and then the insane House and Trance phase.. And then how there’d be a little group within the group that’d worship one band.. Akshay’s never ending Metallica obsession.. Pran n Sank’s girl music.. Prat n my Beatlemania.. Dan I love U2 and all of us ‘Slowly’ losing ourselves..
4.My Sitcom Therapy. I barely remember a time when heart break or even just a bad day could be handled without a funny show to watch.. starting with when everyone I knew decided (with a weird ferocity) to finish the ten S.E.A.S.O.N.S… to when we started watching what would eventually lead to a a long path of self loathing (How I met your Mother).. Scrubs, as you can see the distinct influence everywhere in this note.. Coupling South Park The Thin Blue Line Black Adder oh That 70s show The Big Bang theory.. Prison Break Lost Boston Legal I cant keep track.. eventually we all found our shows Studio 60 Arrested Development The Office Carnivale Weeds obviously Drawn Together Family Guy IT Crowd.. I could go on.(lol)
5.My Roommate.Most often we don’t know how horrible we are until we live with somebody. To me college will always be about living with Abha, 109, Royal Southern, that God awful room by the pool, Harini, and obviously Nishthaa. Big moment here, Thank you girls. I’d fail miserably if I didn’t mention Sahi and Varshaa here. And obviously Swathi n Georgi.
6.My New friends/Old friends.These coupla sentences are about Ash n Shru n all the other ‘Older’ friends I’ve made.. for every time they’ve shared their stuff with me, given me food, shelter and the essentials for a constant high. I remember the time I was in their room an entire week during a study hols spell, and they provided for me.. Music, food, and drink. Ash, whom I never fail to have fun with and wait for her little trips to Chennai, and count on for self esteem boosting and hyper ventilation. Oh and how can I not mention Pallavi here. She’s younger, but still. My Candy-loving, sailor-like-swearing, partner in crime, my Pilla , my double awesome Super Trouper.
7.My Left and Right feet.This one’s obviously about the endless dancing. When we started dancing in 110 while trying to dry Abha’s pink Chunni to those times in that ‘farm’ to every birthday every time there’s a new song we have to share to when we get ‘guests’ to oh God so yes we dance quite a bit. In lieu with point number 3 I was listening to ‘Safety Dance’ while typing this point out.
8.My Foster Food.I have to have to have to (considering I just wolfed down Sahi’s Pappu and Pappul podi) have to mention my taste buds opening up to Andhra food.. Harini’s mom’s Guthi Vengaay. Ah the yuminess. Oesophagus burning delight. Dan’s mom’s brownies and Sank’s mom’s cakes. The God Awesome food in Nish’s house. Abha’s mom’s divine Gobi ke parathe. Harini’s house that has always given me refuge.
9.My Biotechnicians. Gayu, Kavitha, Deepika. My birdies from Biotech. My girls who’ve handled me during my worst. Who’ve helped me pass exams. Who’ve had sad Canteen fun with me. Who re-enact scenes from The Office with me. Who have let me cry n smile n practice seminars with group up on competitions with get high cover for me with teachers getting me notes letting me be. I love them. Muahsies.
The rest of this note’s gonna be random things about these four years that’ve probably taught me more than the 17 before them, like Directions in Chennai, Crossing roads without dying or causing accidents, using the local trains, making DDs, handling temper issues, handling terrible middle level management, meeting and loving people you never thought you’d meet and not wanting to let go. I never want to not remember things like Nish singing Lap Dance or Sanatarium.. Abha tidying my room and whatever I still have left of the wreck I’ve made of my life when she went somewhere.. Sahi gossiping in rapid Telegu on the phone.. Prateek freaking out over an insignificant mishap or slightly high decibel level.. crazy fun with Pranav’s sarcastic one liners, Harini’s un-helpable insanity and our constant giggling, Mahesh grinning helplessly like a monkey after missing a train/flight, Sankha’s light voiced contemptuous encouragement of everything I do, the first three months of knowing Dan, Akshay’s constantly berating disparage and his brilliant mind.
So I didn’t know I could want to hug and hold my people and keep them close to my heart till I know it’s time for us to go. So I decided I’ll write this note and control the crazy (Amen Nish).
I can’t do this all on my own. I know.I’m no Superman.
‘I’m no Superman’ – Lazlo Bane
Details
This is the first time I am doing this, but the song seems to say everything I want to.
Well painted passion
You rightly suspect
Impersonation
The dumbing down of love
Jaded in anger
Love underwhelms you
No box of chocolates
Whichever way you fall
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Lover alone without–without love
No, no I’ll get this
I want to treat you
You’re still not famous
And you haven’t struck it rich
Underachieving
‘Cause no one’s receiving
This tunnel vision
It’s turning out all wrong
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?
Love alone without, without love
Music is worthless, unless it can
Make a complete stranger
Break down and cry
And if I tell you
Lover alone without love
And what will happen
Lover alone without love
And will you listen
Lover alone without, without love.
The Dumbing Down of Love, Frou frou
I am sure you’ve all ben intrigued by the long silence. Quoting Dave Matthews, the silence is screaming. So I’ve been a little busy, a little blue. Mostly blue. And this is not because I watched the movie Blue. I am in no mood for my regualr brand of silly humour. Life’s not exactly handing out marzipan. I hate personifying ‘life’ and making it do things but still.
I’ve spent Diwali so far listening to this song on loop while watching the fireworks from my balcony. The last time I remember listening to it, seems to be, in my second year of college, when my friends would play sports and I’d hang around, watching lost-ly.
A particularly mopey, festival time for me. Too much apathy for anybody’s good. But in a random moment of thanksgiving, I thank everybody who I call a friend. May you be blessed.
Till next time,keep singing.
-This tunnel vision
It’s turning out all wrong-
Happy Diwali. Be safe. Be sound. (no jokes here either)
Was Fashion the reason why they were there?
Courtesy-Zach
I watched ‘Unnaipol Oruvan’ . I have a theory that all the men I love obsessively are similar. For instance, I kept comparing Kamal Hassan to Hugh Laurie. In my head, they had very similar ways of talking. Even Kamal’s walk in this movie, while he’s carrying those baskets, reminded me House’s limp.
Anyway. Let’s talk about the movie. It was refreshing, after Dasavataram, which was just a support Kamal Hassan party (I enjoyed that one too). Finally he could make one of those message-giving movies with decent, in fact enjoyable dialogues, and a strong screenplay. I liked the movie lots. The random witty dialogues, the ‘titans-meet’ appeal, the good looking Ganesh Venkatraman (My mom approves of this very South Indian actor, whom I liked in the movie), Shruti Hassan’s bass, all this was well done and reaching my standards of something that I was inclined to like anyway.
I am not smart enough to pronounce a Kamal Hassan movie. So I say- Watch it. Even if you’ve watched A Wednesday.
There was a really witty line in the movie that I’ve been repeating to myself because I can’t remember how well it was put. In very crude terms we can remember it, as something described as, ‘ An Authority Dictated by Democracy’. As arbitrarily annoying as this seems, it’s a rather good line which gives us much to think about.
Spoiler Alert for Unnaipol. The movie talks about moral anger. The common man’s pent up anger against intolerance and crime. The eternal struggle the police and the government seem to have against punishing with death when can and in fact we must, because sooner or later the choice we have to make is between a few lives lost in imprisoning somebody or the many lives that will be lost by setting someone free. The movie is a small example of somebody taking into their hands, decisions that we believe are best left to the government. And it shows that authority is most juggled when it needs to be completely taken.
I am not propagating a mass rebellion or any kind of anarchist movement. I love democracy or anything that works. I have often wondered why the government feels the need to curb a generally popular, yet un-lawful do-gooder. When I was younger I used to wonder if it was because the government thought these people would steal their thunder.
Then I realised. All Robin Hoods don’t have a band of merry men to keep them in check. Many of them want to contribute and then fall prey to a weird megalomania. I am watching this Japanese show nowadays called Death Note, where something similar happens. Power gets to you. You want to be ‘God’.
But Unnaipol doesn’t deal with issues like these. These are but my incomplete, rather nascent musings. Unnaipol simply says that if you want to make noise and make a change, you can. I guess that was what I liked the most about the movie other than the excellent acting and obviously most importantly, Ganesh Venkatraman.
‘Mesmerize the simple minded, Propaganda, leaves us blinded.’
- ‘Hypnotize’ , SOAD
Se7en things
I’ve probably made everybody on my friends list, everybody on your friends list, everybody I know, everybody ever, watch this, but I can never tire of it. I still haven’t figured out how you get a little You Tube window to be on the screen so you can read the article while you actually watch the video, but if I did know. Mannnn.
So I had this weird idea today while showering, that it always makes me happy. So I decided that I must make a list of all the things that make me happy no matter what. Since 7 is so magical and everything,I decided I must find 7. And 7 things that bum me out and 7 things that always make me cry. Always.
Happies:
1.Showering – The best 2-3 sets of 15 mins I spend everyday.
2.Swimming – I love the pre, the during, the post feelings.
3.Paani Poori – Self explanatory
4. Anagrams- Happiness floods when I solve them.
5. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica- There are basically two schools of thought.
6. Dancing-Not watching it.Doing it. Most pertinent Gerund of the lot.
7. Clean areas- I don’t have to do it myself but if they look clean I feel at peace-ish. Oh and I have one more. Cooking.
Poopers:
1. Condescension
2. Bullying
3. Inconsistency
4.Unnecessary meanness, any kind of unwarranted spirit breaking.
5. Inefficiency
6. Ooh bad grammar. I correct and then I feel like a git. SO yeah basically making me feel like a git. Also, Unwarranted Guilt trips.
7. Aggression
Howlers:
1. Stepmom (The Movie) – I’ve cried every time I’ve watched it since I was a child.
2. Uncontrollable Anger – Most of the time it is because of this.
3. Birth-of any form- From Bacteria to Babies.
4. Victory-of any kind. An Award function, a match, love stories. It can be anything.
5. Failure- I cant laugh at it even if I do. It scares me.(This includes heartbreak,disappointments)
6. Sudden and unbearable Fear(Dark, Insects Life anything)
7. Marriages. Though I thought long and hard about whether you can count this under ‘Victory’, I decided add it separately anyway.
‘You make cardboard look cute’
Till next time, which is pretty soon, Keep singing.
Living for the Love we have
Hot tears splashed down her face and wet the tips of her collar . ‘If they’re hot they’re the fatigue tears’, Margo would always say. A random and sudden desire to laugh, instant confusion and a white hot pining for home flashed through her system, as she mindlessly played with the tears that still silently fell. It wasn’t the fact that she was dreadfully alone. It wasn’t the pain of dejection. She craved that universe that she’d left. She resented every moment that passed, repeating that redundant thought over and over- It was time to go home.
I learned a lot of lessons from the movie American Beauty. So plain and honest. If you haven’t watched it, stop reading here, major spoiler alert. Its lessons were very straight forward. I often speculate about how dis functionality is a hot topic for entertainment. It can be through humor. It can be through depression. It can be the irony in the real world, a parody of the perfect world; but dis functionality as a theme can never go wrong.
So this movie chooses dark humor. And works so well. A multitude of relevant messages. Despite so many more amazing ones to choose from, my favourite is the one that most of us forget so often. The one of mutual respect and love. We all continuously wonder about relationships making it through the test of time. Not time which is a function of distance, but real time. Continuous together-ness and the oxy-moronic ensconced ennui, are the real tests of love and relationships. These are the real tests of our own zest for life, even. Which is what the movie tries to tell us through Kevin Spacey’s role. The man has a way of conveying to us in those annoyingly lewd scenes, all his boredom of comfort, his apathy towards his love-life, his incestuous feelings for his daughter’s friend that seem to be a manifestation of his original need for his daughter, it’s a different brand of magic.
While every character strives to fight against conformity, while trying to fit in themselves, the movie argues both sides of the case so poignantly, there’s an actual cascade of reactions in your head when it ends. You find it so hard to choose what to react to. The irony in the ability to abjure material possessions and ‘rebel’ , only because you still have the money to? The repression that can only be explained by and also solved by a routine? The sexual awakening Spacey’s character Lester feels when he meets Angela, which is abruptly replaced by his protective instinct for her vulnerability as a ‘virgin’ ? Is that all he needed? Need? The homo-sexually repressed martinet father whose feelings for Lester seem to be a manifestation of his manner with his own son? This list is not exhaustive.
And yet, the message everybody seems to be screaming everywhere in the movie seems to be, that while all of us struggle so hard to keep up with ourselves, it is so important to make sure that we believe in the best of ourselves, and not forget the reasons we wanted to be ourselves in the first place. To not forget basic kindness and the happiness we feel.
Human beings are animals. Our only evolutionary, biological emotions are disgust, hatred, fear and anger and lust. And yet, the ‘contrived’ emotions seem to rule our real lives. I love the movie because it shows us that eternal struggle between these two types. And that indefinable rebellion against what we truly seek by throwing away what we have. Only to realise that there is no mythical end if you want happiness. Peace, is a different ball game.
So to sum it all up, I am glad my Mum didn’t let me watch the movie when it actually came out and I watched it years later when I was capable of being evoked to react. Mothers are always right. Speaking of mothers,
‘There was a time I used to pray
I have always kept my faith in love
It’s the greatest thing from the man above’
- Just my Imagination, Cranberries
Until next time, keep it real, keep singing.
I want my money back-Just Enjoy The Show
You probably recognise this song from the all the commercials it’s been in. This girl has such a sweet voice. Besides being a girly, hummable song, I adore the simple lyrics. So much sarcasm yet so seemingly sweet.
I’m just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don’t know where to go, can’t do it alone
I’ve tried and I don’t know why
I wanted to share this song with all of you who read my blog. I am now assured of two or three people who read and so I stop the annoying (?) thing. The current most exciting things in my life are the return of three important things to my life, all three that usually make me happy, the first obviously being The Office, it returns for a sixth season in three days. The second, is actually is my cycle, a BSA Ladybird bicycle, that has been sent to the service guy because of how badly my cousins have been treating it since I left it to their care, and now it’s going to come back, in excellent shape for me to ride. Bicycles (or bikes, as kids call them nowadays) were a huge part of my childhood, my favourite part, in fact. The place I used to live in before had a rather large compound, and I’ve spent many an evening cycling around my house with my friends from then. My first bike was the Hero Kidd, they used to make it back then, I had it in maroon, which incidentally is my favourite colour for bikes. And then when I grew up, I had my ultimate favourite cycle. The one I fought so hard to buy, my best friend for so many years, the one I couldn’t let go off even long after I”d outgrown it. This was called the Hero Twister. It was a brilliant bicycle. You’ve never seen anything like it. It was all in white but it had these amazing, crazy zig-zag lines made all over it in Pink, Purple, Green and they stood out, like fabric paint does sometimes. And none of those silly frills that girls’ bikes have these days. It even had white wheels.This aspect, however, was short lived, because I rode it over a saw that workers in my colony had left on the road and we could just not find another white tyre to match the bike, and so I had one white wheel in front and a black one at the back. This was the bike that we played pretend pizza delivery on, it was an ambulance, a car, I narrated the entire story of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone to a friend riding on this bike. I insisted on raising the seat until I outgrew it wholly and completely (this took a while, I didn’t really grow much), but when I had to buy a new bike I did not know what to do, because Twister was gone.
Anyway. Soon my parents bought me a Ladybird cycle that I stopped riding after class 12 and now that I’m home again, it’s been redeemed from my cousins who’ve been raping it’s integrity and I can stop begging random children if I can go for a ride on their bicycles. Oh and this one’s maroon too. It has a basket. I love baskets.
The third thing that makes me happy is related to transport too, it is the return of my driving license, which my dad has withheld for very long, I look forward to liberation.
I watched a really weird movie last night called ‘Closer’ , most of you have probably watched it, it comes on TV at least once a fortnight. The movie really disturbed me. It made me think of Wicker Park. I love Wicker Park. Such intense acting. And what a soundtrack. This movie had some intense acting too, except that the story was such a mind-screw, it’s based on Mozart’s Cosi fan tutte, and it’s modernised and it really messed with my head last night. All I learned, is that it’s so difficult to have a life where all is ultimately forgiven, and everything that happens to you, is just accepted as life’s unavoidable good times and bad times. In a really warped way.
Slow it down, make it stop or else my heart is going to pop
‘Cause it’s too much, yeah it’s a lot to be something I’m not
I’m a fool out of love ’cause I just can’t get enough
I can’t figure it out ,it’s bringing me down
I know,I’ve got to let it go
and just enjoy the show.
I really do like this song. If you haven’t heard it you must listen to it as soon as you can.
In other news, I have not gone out of my house for a fun-purpose like the pursuit of vices, or shopping, or a movie, in over ten days and my mood swings start controlling my universe. To cope, I delve deeper into sit-com therapy and absurd word games on the internet. The end of this week might bring something to sing about.
Deep breaths, I hear, calm. As every minute I spend hoping that this year is my life’s biggest test, my relationships with my laptops get stronger as I pine for family. But until next time, a more cheerful post with happy thoughts, keep it real, keep singing.
-Dum de dum, da dum de dum Just Enjoy The Show-
-Lenka
I swear
1-0-0-0-0-0-0-Gayatri-Feat-Swa
I have a pact with indulgence. We remain best friends forever. When I started writing this post, I wanted to make sure that I mentioned everything I wanted to say as one, coherent stream of thought. I realise that this might not work. Anyway I invite (all of?) you to join this big experiment.
Addiction is one of my favourite topics to discuss. I usually require absolutely no inspiration to drone on about the topic, considering the millions of conversations I have had with other humans/myself on it, but somehow, when I have to write down the questions I usually pose any to anybody dumb enough to indulge me in a conversation about it, I take a break.
Yet while I contemplated what to fill in this space while I casually (re)watched 4 Hindi movies on 4 different channels simultaneously, it struck me that it was only fair to talk about this weird equation in my head for that I have for indulgence and addiction.
I’m sure (all of?) you have watched Hum Saath Saath Hain. Nevertheless, I have to summarise. It’s a masterpiece. A prototype Bharjatya movie. He said that it was a remake of the epic Ramayan itself. The nauseatingly inseparable four siblings(he made one brother a sister in the movie ), the step-mother insecure for her own sons’ financial standing if the Dad crowns the eldest son MD of the company, his subsequent ‘exile’ to the village, but the sons’ inimitable loyalty to one another through all hardships till the very end, Amar Chithra Katha couldn’t have said it better. The first three hours of the movie are like saccharine. You actually start tasting the sickly sweetness at the back of your tongue and it’s so annoying you want to scrub it off with a swab but you can’t. But you can’t.
Which brings us back to the original discussion about indulgence. You might notice, that in a circular and supremely benign manner, this post will make sense to you after a while. So anyway. That thin line that exists between a habit and an addiction seems to be the control over the frequency of the actual act. I once wrote to somebody, a while ago, that the reason it is so difficult to let go of a few emotions, is because they are so addictive. The high of Love, the comfort of wallowing, the ease of cowardice. They’re so addictive. However vastly different these emotions might be. Our mind craves stability so much that it is happy in that state of emotional inertia.
‘Oh such grace
Oh such beauty
So precious, suspicious, and charming and vicious
Oh darlin’
You’re a million ways to be cruel’
The title of this post is from a song called A Million Ways. By Ok Go. Speaking of Ok Go, I watched I Love You, Man , finally. If you observe carefully, you can notice the band in the background towards the end of the movie. Actually at the very end. I Love You, Man, was a pinhead movie. I actually liked the theme. Guy Love. Not in a Wild Hogs way, but mushy chick-flick type way. A bigger and less successful experiment than this post itself. The acting is how you say-pathetic. I mean, I was pretty Clueless about Paul Rudd’s acting (he was pretty cute in FRIENDS!!)( I never watched Clueless). He sucked. Jason Segal sucked. And Rashida Jones, (You’re from THE OFFICE, for heaven’s sake )Shame on You! The screenplay was so slow I could watch How I met your Mother on the side and find it funny.
Pronounced: Puke. Like Paul Rudd does in the movie. Insane amounts.
I notice how I am using all my Million Ways to digress but I chose this song for this particular post because it was the song Swathi and I made our last video to. And Hey she indulged me too. She indulged my need to believe I could make short films. We made three. Successful ones at that. She recently indulged my sudden urge to be a freelance writer. I have A Million Ways to thank her but I use this one. <3. Oh and incidentally, (or is it?) the song is about addiction to klonapin, a prescription drug for Anxiety Disorders.
A clear frequency-regulation problem. Case and Point. If I was doing that. Anyway. Till next time, if I survive the beating I’m going to get for this one, keep it real, keep singing.
-one zero zero zero zero zero zero cruel-
-Ok Go
Tu que estas en alto cielo, Echame tu bendiciòn
So a friend of mine asked me to blog today about all this application work. I forgot to mention in my previous posts, that I am trying to go abroad. To study further. But then of course if you even KNOW me, you know this, and so we look intricately at the life of a struggling Research Scholar.
I recently joined this group on Facebook called ‘I picked a major I really like and one day I’m probably going to live in a box’ . I cannot explain the aptness of this statement to my life. Everyday, I mail professors in the states, looking for the one, that person who will say ‘ Come hither, and do not fear, for hope is here.’ . Now even if that was lame-ish, my plight drives me crazy.
You’ve (all?) probably gone through this, but it all starts with an idea. Everybody in your year is giving the GRE. You study like a maniac and you give it like it’s the most important exam ever. You produce results in the range of less than satisfactory to exceeded expectations. Some of you do abysmally badly, and a few of you lucky ones get an outstanding score. Then you give the TOEFL. Now this is such a boring exam I am not going to waste words on it. The rest is just shortlisting universities and applying to them. Anyway I shall not regale (all of?) you with my application woes.
Whom am I kidding?
The title of this post is from a song I used to listen to in college. Thank you Ash, for giving it to me. And that’s your feature, girl. You= Super Trouper, possible (fingers crossed) future roommate. It literally translates to ‘You, that are in at higher heaven,throw me down your blessing’. The song is called How far is Heaven. Somehow, when you feel the words so strongly, you never tire of this Anglo-Spanish Cowboy song, how much ever it seems to bug your friends.
Anyway. My current full time job involves mailing professors, to ask if they have a graduate position in their lab. The thing about applying for a PhD in an (apparently) obscure-ish subject is, that you have to have a graduate advisor even before you apply. So unless a professor gives you the metaphorical green signal, you are not even free to apply. And thus goes my day- reading up papers by random professors; obsessively re-editing my resume; thinking up sentences that make me sound highly interested, but not sycophantic; and then of course there’s talking to people about it all the time, and then my usual quota of inane Facebook quizzes.
So anyway, the point of this post is, to rant. And I succeed. A whole fifteen minutes wasted, but I feel better. It saves me from contributing to Mark Zuckerburg’s large debt. Did you know that Facebook changes that disclaimer that you sign (by checking that little box) about keeping your photos private every so often? I am not writing a word more lest somebody sues me, but this is like one of those warning words that I spread. Amongst friends.
In other news, I am reading a really really good book called ‘Genome’. It’s brilliant. I like it lots. Also, ‘Ghosts of Girlfriends Past’ is the cheapest insult to ‘A Christmas Carol’ . I mean, I have spent over 5 years in love with Matthew McConaughey and it took four minutes of this movie to kill that for me. However, it was refreshing to see Michael Douglas . I wonder what it is about chicks, that makes us watch chick flicks. Maybe I must do a PhD on that. Very self-obsessively academic. I like the idea.
I leave you all now, to sympathise with my shivers and shrills from wherever you are. Till next time, keep it real keep singing,
‘And I just got to have some faith
And just keep on givin’,
How far is heaven
Yeah, Lord can you tell me,
How far is heaven’ -Los Lonely Boys
