I turned 25 last week. To cushion the blow from the existential crisis this brought on, and also to pretend that there remains time to be better, I made a list of resolutions. I made boring ones like be better, eat better, do things that will postpone your impending aging and death. But I also made ones like read better, work better and love better. So in no particular order I share these with you, kind reader. 

To not work a job where what I wear seems to matter more than what I think.

Unless I’m a model. 80% sure I will not be a model. This rule does not apply to changing careers to become a medical professional; people on the subway are nicer to people wearing scrubs.

To not have text conversations with emoticons in them; actually tell people how I feel with words.

No more of this I ❤ you like (pizza). Straightforward sentences like: I LOVE YOU LIKE I DO PIZZA. I want you in my life everyday even if it makes my stomach upset and my arteries swell. You make me happy let’s live a greasy and amazing life together.

To use more emoticons in text conversations and let people know how I feel even if I cannot find words.

Sometimes words are hard to find, I’m looking for that perfect line. And when there are no more songs from  my adolescence that tell you how I feel, I will heart you. I will ❤ the crap out of you. I will 🙂 and 😀 and :-*

To figure out my love life and try out this commitment thing.

I’m 25 years old! I should have a boyfriend… sometimes.

Image source: Tumblr, The Mindy Project

Image source: Tumblr, The Mindy Project

To surround myself with intelligent, kind people.

I will actively seek out an echo chamber of kindness so I’m nurtured enough to never be unforgiving.

To read more books:

 Actual books, not blogs, not memoirs, not crime fiction. Real, bigass books.

To spend time outdoors every day (the pool does not count as outdoors) and be one with nature.

Smell the dew, walk on the grass… No. F that. The outdoors are gross. I will stay indoors and protect my skin and sanity.

To start adhering to lists and plans

Leslie Knope quotes

Image from BuzzFeed/Parks and Recreation

And for the love of God, to STOP BUYING MORE SUNGLASSES. They’re not like bracelets, I can only wear one pair at a time. Nobody even cares about sunglasses any more. 

The end.