Disclaimer: I’ve tried to leave spoilers out, but I apologize in advance for any that remain. Please do not read if you’re a brand new Whovian(ah, the lovely days that lay ahead of you). Instead, you should just read some of my other blog posts from the Archives, on the right. For convenience purposes, The Doctor has been left out of this list. Read on after sighing about Tennant’s absence in a list about cuteness.
The Adipose are little fat babies, tiny blobs of fat that you can cuddle.
Adore: They are like living soft toys that make adorable giggly noises, easy to love because of how ridiculously cute they are.
Abhor: The ones on earth are probably from inside somebody’s body.
The Sontaran are terribly cute, even when all they want to do is destroy you in battle for the glory of Sontar. Sontar-ha!
If the angry humpty-dumptys did not work for you, here’s Commander Strax.
Adore: Cute, angry trolls. Sort of like owning a jack russel terrier who wants to destroy the world.
Abhor: Violent aliens who want to destroy you. Not like owning a puppy at all.
What is cuter than an alien cyborg that reminds you of Dobby the elf?Dr: Rickston, Mr Copper, and you Bannakaffalatta– Look, Can I just call you Banna? Its gonna save a lot of time. Bannakaffalatta: No! Bannakaffalatta. Dr: All right then Bannakaffalatta. There’s a gap in the middle. See if you can get through. Bannakaffalatta: Easy, good.
Adore: Tiny, useful, friendly.
Law-keeping space unicorns? Sco ro flo to. ’nuff said.
Adore: Alien cops. Also, blo mo co jo. Just saying.
Abhor: Mercenaries for hire. Will not be very loyal to you if they get a better deal elsewhere. Just saying.
Benevolent organisms with a shared consciousness, that communicate via telepathy. Oddly reminiscent of elephants but not really.
Adore: They are peaceful, musical and psychic– with an extra brain.
Abhor: They hold their extra brain in their hands and are somehow always prone to becoming insane. Also, linguine face.
6. The Silence
A religious order of aliens known as the Silents. Slimy, tall, suit wearing organisms that control electricity in the least cool way possible.
Oh, and you don’t remember seeing them once you stop seeing them.
Adore: From behind, you could mistake them for an Ood.
Abhor: They’ve manipulated human history and they want to kill The Doctor. Also, they put baby in a corner. Well, a baby. Anyway.
7. The Master & Toclofane
SPOILERS. The Master is like the Doctor’s antithesis. A brilliant, insane timelord who wants to own all of time and space.
The toclofane are us. Us at the end of everything, hanging on to whatever we can, afraid of the darkness, and obeying the Master’s word.
Adore: They’re us, just from the future?
Abhor: They’re us, just from the future, here to murder their ancestors.
8. Weeping angels
The Weeping Angels are Moffat’s terrifying time-eating monsters that cannot move when they are being observed. The minute you turn their back on them (DON’T BLINK!) they will attack you. This can involve moving you to a different point of time in the past, or breaking your neck and manipulating your brain.
Adore: Well if it is worth anything, the Doctor once described them as “the only psychopaths in the universe to kill you nicely” because (usually) you don’t actually die, you just live your lives out in the past, giving your time energy to the angel that touched you.
Abhor: You learn something more terrifying about them with every passing episode that they’re featured in.
9. (SPOILER) Are you my mummy?
‘The Empty Child’ was the Doctor Who episode that told me that I was now officially sucked into the show, that told me that they meant business. Human beings sprouting gas masks in the middle of the London Blitz? Tiny nano robots that heal like nobody’s business?
Adore: The Nanogenes-they’re really, really just trying to help.
Abhor: They have no idea how to help and create scared and lonely children.
Here’s something else awesome:
The ones that almost made it:
And this thing, obviously
And for good measure:
Until next time, Keep singing!