Hope, they say is the mind’s euphemism for denial.
For about a week now, I have been thinking about how planning for the future has completely consumed my present. The perfect career the perfect relationship the perfect future .These thoughts were reiterated by Nish, in fact these are her very own words.

I also came up with these other lines, about how panic is different from despair, because panic is always glazed by hope.  Despair is usually a manifestation of a rough day and a bad mood, coupled with low energy. The indescribable apathy and deep, yet content sorrow. Such an easy place to slip into.

After all the times we hear about obstacles being stepping stones to success, the persistent doubt of not winning is well settled inside our hearts.

Today, I learned for the first time, in over a decade of conscious thought, that at times like these if you just let yourself sink so low as to feel the horror hit you,  not just ensconce yourself in the discomfort it causes but actually completely believe in the despair, that part of your body that is your warrior class ( I fully believe that this is a neurotransmitter which originates as an Immunological protein) kicks in, pushes away a little bit of the cloud and makes you stop idealising.

Idealising.

You’d be as good as dead, Cuz you might die tryin’

Cuz you might die tryin’

-Dave Matthews’ Band