In a spell of nostalgia brought about by finally watching the series finale of Scrubs, which I wanted to wait and do for the need of the essential and proper closure, i re read a note a wrote a while ago in Facebook, and it brought back memories of things, that I am sad now will only remain memories.
Even if I agree with JD that living in the past is warm and comforting,but change is essential; self indulgence of emotion is my huge vice and I have to do it. So anyway the purpose of this post was to save that note in this space too, so I paste it here. When I wrote it I was only ‘controlling the crazy’ but now I merely miss the crazy, living in a life that is as different from that one as possible.
Perhaps it’s cuz I have been so jobless, or perhaps it’s cuz how many ever times you repeat the same figure for the number of days left for college to end you know it decreases each day, I wanted to make out a note and tag the people who’ve made college what it’s been to me.
Whenever I think of the things that were My SRM, I cant but help think of these. I hope I don’t forget anything.
1. My friends.The people who gave me home. Away from and at. My beauties who taught me things about myself and themselves and the world.
2. My drama. I thought I was growing as a person and reducing the amount of drama in my life and in my system but then as I obsess over what to write in this point..hell just the mere fact that I think that I simply have to write this note.. You get it right. It’s called personal growth.
3. My Music.I always thought life was full of scenes for soundtracks, but the time I’ve spent obsessing over the random-est songs I’ve heard and how they are just ‘My song!!’. I don’t want to forget anything when I make a list..starting from when we’d only continuously hum Coming back to life to the phase when Somewhere I belong was like my ring tone (that happened)..when we obsessed over Summer Wine the first summer in 2006.. When Nish n I would spend evenings with only the yellow lights on with Floyd..when Harini found Coldplay and listened to only Shiver for a week.. When This love had taken it’s toll on me she said good bye too many times before.. When we told each other how ‘Breathless’ was our ultimate love song (I cannot lie, from you i cannot hide).. when ‘Stay don’t sway, don’t come and go, like you do’ was the only song all us girls thought was soooo cute.. when ‘Where were you when we were getting high’ we’d hear over n over.. when we’d watch movies just cuz we loved the soundtrack (Everybody’s gotta learn sometime).. ‘I’m too lost in you’..when Dan’s car would resound with the latest flava of our liking, reflecting not only our moods but also what we were watching then, where we were going, what we were downloading, oh and when Abha went crazy about RHCP..(Hey oh..listen what I say..oh).. and then the insane House and Trance phase.. And then how there’d be a little group within the group that’d worship one band.. Akshay’s never ending Metallica obsession.. Pran n Sank’s girl music.. Prat n my Beatlemania.. Dan I love U2 and all of us ‘Slowly’ losing ourselves..
4.My Sitcom Therapy. I barely remember a time when heart break or even just a bad day could be handled without a funny show to watch.. starting with when everyone I knew decided (with a weird ferocity) to finish the ten S.E.A.S.O.N.S… to when we started watching what would eventually lead to a a long path of self loathing (How I met your Mother).. Scrubs, as you can see the distinct influence everywhere in this note.. Coupling South Park The Thin Blue Line Black Adder oh That 70s show The Big Bang theory.. Prison Break Lost Boston Legal I cant keep track.. eventually we all found our shows Studio 60 Arrested Development The Office Carnivale Weeds obviously Drawn Together Family Guy IT Crowd.. I could go on.(lol)
5.My Roommate.Most often we don’t know how horrible we are until we live with somebody. To me college will always be about living with Abha, 109, Royal Southern, that God awful room by the pool, Harini, and obviously Nishthaa. Big moment here, Thank you girls. I’d fail miserably if I didn’t mention Sahi and Varshaa here. And obviously Swathi n Georgi.
6.My New friends/Old friends.These coupla sentences are about Ash n Shru n all the other ‘Older’ friends I’ve made.. for every time they’ve shared their stuff with me, given me food, shelter and the essentials for a constant high. I remember the time I was in their room an entire week during a study hols spell, and they provided for me.. Music, food, and drink. Ash, whom I never fail to have fun with and wait for her little trips to Chennai, and count on for self esteem boosting and hyper ventilation. Oh and how can I not mention Pallavi here. She’s younger, but still. My Candy-loving, sailor-like-swearing, partner in crime, my Pilla , my double awesome Super Trouper.
7.My Left and Right feet.This one’s obviously about the endless dancing. When we started dancing in 110 while trying to dry Abha’s pink Chunni to those times in that ‘farm’ to every birthday every time there’s a new song we have to share to when we get ‘guests’ to oh God so yes we dance quite a bit. In lieu with point number 3 I was listening to ‘Safety Dance’ while typing this point out.
8.My Foster Food.I have to have to have to (considering I just wolfed down Sahi’s Pappu and Pappul podi) have to mention my taste buds opening up to Andhra food.. Harini’s mom’s Guthi Vengaay. Ah the yuminess. Oesophagus burning delight. Dan’s mom’s brownies and Sank’s mom’s cakes. The God Awesome food in Nish’s house. Abha’s mom’s divine Gobi ke parathe. Harini’s house that has always given me refuge.
9.My Biotechnicians. Gayu, Kavitha, Deepika. My birdies from Biotech. My girls who’ve handled me during my worst. Who’ve helped me pass exams. Who’ve had sad Canteen fun with me. Who re-enact scenes from The Office with me. Who have let me cry n smile n practice seminars with group up on competitions with get high cover for me with teachers getting me notes letting me be. I love them. Muahsies.
The rest of this note’s gonna be random things about these four years that’ve probably taught me more than the 17 before them, like Directions in Chennai, Crossing roads without dying or causing accidents, using the local trains, making DDs, handling temper issues, handling terrible middle level management, meeting and loving people you never thought you’d meet and not wanting to let go. I never want to not remember things like Nish singing Lap Dance or Sanatarium.. Abha tidying my room and whatever I still have left of the wreck I’ve made of my life when she went somewhere.. Sahi gossiping in rapid Telegu on the phone.. Prateek freaking out over an insignificant mishap or slightly high decibel level.. crazy fun with Pranav’s sarcastic one liners, Harini’s un-helpable insanity and our constant giggling, Mahesh grinning helplessly like a monkey after missing a train/flight, Sankha’s light voiced contemptuous encouragement of everything I do, the first three months of knowing Dan, Akshay’s constantly berating disparage and his brilliant mind.
So I didn’t know I could want to hug and hold my people and keep them close to my heart till I know it’s time for us to go. So I decided I’ll write this note and control the crazy (Amen Nish).
I can’t do this all on my own. I know.I’m no Superman.
‘I’m no Superman’ – Lazlo Bane