I have a pact with indulgence. We remain best friends forever. When I started writing this post, I wanted to make sure that I mentioned everything I wanted to say as one, coherent stream of thought. I realise that this might not work. Anyway I invite (all of?) you to join this big experiment.

Addiction is one of my favourite topics to discuss. I usually require absolutely no inspiration to drone on about the topic, considering the millions of conversations I have had with other humans/myself on it, but somehow, when I have to write down the questions I usually pose any to anybody dumb enough to indulge me in a conversation about it, I take a break.

Yet while I contemplated what to fill in this space while I casually (re)watched 4 Hindi movies on 4 different channels simultaneously, it struck me that it was only fair to talk about this weird equation in my head for that I have for indulgence and addiction.

I’m sure (all of?) you have watched Hum Saath Saath Hain. Nevertheless, I have to summarise. It’s a masterpiece. The maker, Suraj Bharjatya said that it was a remake of the epic Ramayan itself. The inseparable four siblings(he made one brother a sister in the movie ), the step-mother insecure for her own sons’ financial standing if the Dad crowns the eldest son MD of the company, his subsequent ‘exile’ to the village, but the sons’ inimitable loyalty to one another through all hardships till the very end, Amar Chithra Katha couldn’t have said it better. The first three hours of the movie are like saccharine. You actually start tasting the sickly sweetness at the back of your tongue and it’s so annoying you want to scrub it off with a swab but you can’t. But you can’t.

Which brings us back to the original discussion about indulgence. You might notice, that in a circular and supremely benign manner, this post will make sense to you after a while. So anyway. That thin line that exists between a habit and an addiction seems to be the control over the frequency of the actual act. The reason it is so difficult to let go of a few emotions, is because they are so addictive. The high of love, the comfort of wallowing, the ease of cowardice. So addictive.Β  However vastly different these emotions might be. Our mind craves stability so much that it is happy in that state of emotional inertia.

‘Oh such grace
Oh such beauty
So precious, suspicious, and charming and vicious
Oh darlin’
You’re a million ways to be cruel’

The title of this post is from a song called A Million Ways. By Ok Go. Speaking of Ok Go, I watched I Love You, Man , finally. If you observe carefully, you can notice the band in the background towards the end of the movie. Actually at the very end. I Love You, Man, was a pinhead movie. I actually liked the theme. Guy Love. Not in a Wild Hogs way, but mushy chick-flick type way. A bigger and less successful experiment than this post itself. The acting is how you say-pathetic. I mean, I was pretty Clueless about Paul Rudd’s acting (he was pretty cute in FRIENDS!!)( I never watched Clueless). He sucked. Jason Segal sucked. And Rashida Jones, (You’re from THE OFFICE, for heaven’s sake )The screenplay was so slow I could watch How I met your Mother on the side and find it funny.

Pronounced: Puke. Like Paul Rudd does in the movie. Insane amounts.

I notice how I am using all my Million Ways to digress but I chose this song for this particular post because it was the song Swathi and I made our last video to. She indulged my need to believe I could make short films. We made three. Successful ones at that. She recently indulged my sudden urge to be a freelance writer. I have A Million Ways to thank her but I use this one. <3. Oh and incidentally, (or is it?) the song is about addiction to klonapin, a prescription drug for Anxiety Disorders.

A clear frequency-regulation problem. Case and Point. If I was doing that. Anyway. Till next time, if I survive the beating I’m going to get for this one, keep it real, keep singing.

-one zero zero zero zero zero zero cruel-

-Ok Go